Peep Show

Música cachonda

2012-02-08T22:20:00.000-08:00

ca-chon-da: adjective
1. Ruled by sexual appetite; in heat (hembra).

No se necesita plata pa' moverse, necesita onda y música cachonda
No tengo mucha plata pero tengo cobre
Aquí se baila como bailan los pobres

Live fast die young, bad girls do it well
My chain hits my chest when I'm banging on the dashboard

You pulled out my heart but I don't mind bleeding
any old time you keep me waiting

These songs are probably not the most productive for trying to write a Spanish essay, but I'll be damned if they aren't sexy as fuck.

Girl lemme see ya drip sweat

2012-01-31T00:46:00.000-08:00

The StairMaster™ is so difficult. Seriously. I tapped out after five minutes. I believe if I can work my way up to 30 minutes on the StairMaster™ by the end of the semester, I will know that I can survive Teach for America, because the stair climbing is just that fucking hard.*

So basically, my point is that I have gotten back into exercising more consistently which is good. But my legs have been sore pretty much consistently for the past week and a half, which is not as good, because my house has a lot of very steep stairs. IT ALL COMES BACK TO THOSE PINCHE STAIRS.

*This is totally a valid and appropriate comparison, that between mastering the art of teaching underprivileged children in two years and continually climbing up an infinite stair machine. I should win a Simile Award® for that.

Countdown

2012-01-30T00:17:00.000-08:00

I just keep telling myself, I can do it; this is my last semester.

Como se dice 'get your nails did' en español

2012-01-15T22:47:00.000-08:00

A conversation with my six-year-old niece on the subject of Spanish grammar:

"Mi mama pinta mis uñas."

"Mi mama me pinta las uñas."

"...I don't even know what you're saying right now."

California dreamin' on such a winter's day

2012-01-14T00:52:00.000-08:00

This whole winter break, the weather here in Los Angeles has been beautiful. Like, 75 degrees or warmer every day, sun is out, sky is blue, etc, etc. I've gone to the beach, like, five times. Well, I haven't gone swimming, because the water is still fucking freezing. But just hanging out in the sand, lying in the sun! Wonderful.

Just to think that last year, it was cold and raining in LA all winter break, and I was in southern Mexico, at a beach much hotter with water much warmer. Even though it's not that kind of beach weather, I'm glad it still feels like summer.

Home of the free

2012-01-10T00:35:00.000-08:00

My friends have planned a trip to Vegas this weekend, which I was going to attend but last week decided not to because of my chronic* illness over winter break. I thought it best to take it easy.

So even though I told my grandmother, like, a week ago, that I wasn't going to Vegas anymore, she asked me if I was going again when she called today. Um, nope, still not going. Was it because I didn't like the people I'd be going with?, she asked. Um, what the fuck? I don't know where she gets ideas like these.

Anyway, all her talk of Vegas gets her started on the times she's been to Vegas. And she mentions she does like how when you come in to Vegas, you see a replica of the Statue of Liberty. And of course, she's explaining this to me like I don't know that it's there. Which I do. Because I have been to Vegas before.** And she doesn't like this fake Lady Liberty because she thinks it's insulting because the real statue is so important and symbolized such hope for people.

"Yes, Bubie," I rolled my eyes because, whatever, she can't see me anyway. "The hope to make a long, arduous ocean voyage only to be sent back if you had a cold. Or the hope to get in and be forced to live in a slum and endure hardship and racial oppression."

She didn't really seem to take notice of what I was saying. "Let me tell you, when I saw the Statue of Liberty for the first time..."

My grandmother arrived in the US in 1956, two years after Ellis Island had closed. "You did not see the Statue of Liberty as you were coming into New York," I reply. "You were on a plane."

My mother, who is sitting next to me eating dinner, is trying hard but failing not to laugh as I inform her in a whisper to what her mother is saying that she can't hear. My grandmother continues to insist that a Vegas replica is an insult to the special embodiment of American values that the statue holds for immigrants.

I think this is the fundamental difference between me and my grandmother: even after over 60 years in this country, she still believes in that immigrant dream of the Land of Opportunity, and I suppose she should, because that dream has been true for her. After all the shit she went through in pre-war Poland and then the Holocaust, a country where (almost) no one has stigmatized her for being Jewish and where her family was economically successful with only one breadwinner (my grandfather) must seem like a bloody miracle. But for me, even though I am a middle-class white person, that dream is not what I study or see. I see a world where my LGBT client from Mexico can't get political asylum because he saw a lawyer about the process in 2009 and now it's been over his 1-year time limit. I see a country, both past and present, so mired with racism and xenophobia and anti-immigrant rhetoric that it makes me want to cry. I grew up in a household with two working parents because my mother could not not work. I don't know if she simply refuses to see this, but I doubt it. This country, after all, gave her pretty much everything the Statue of Liberty promised. Why should she believe me? I'm just some pretentious, spoiled, 20-something, not-even-college-graduated kid who has never even been to New York City, much less battled her way through anti-Semitic Poland and Hitler's Germany to finally make it to the promised land*** and see that green woman holding the flame of liberty and the book of freedom**** and finally felt sure that everything was going to be okay.

"You know what Bubie? I think you're wrong. I think taking an overinflated and arguably false symbol of the supposed freedom and opportunity of America and making a sized-down, less impressive replica for a greedy commercial exploitation is the definition of the American Dream."

*not really chronic, just like, lightly persistent?
**I was 10, but believe me, the fake Statue of Liberty was one of the few things I could enjoy, so I fucking remember it.
***Actually, my grandmother moved to Israel first, which is technically the "Promised Land", but whatever, I'm going to stop mixing my metaphors here.
****Sorry

Friends without benefits

2012-01-07T21:52:00.000-08:00

Taking my grandmother and her friend to lunch is like babysitting two petulant children.

They are both 90 years old, but for some reason they bicker like 12-year-olds. They have known each other their whole lives, which is no fucking joke. They are from the same town in Poland. They were both in Auschwitz then Berlin then Sweden together. They now live 5 blocks away from each other in West LA, where all little old Jewish ladies live. Essentially, they are more friends out of obligation and habit than anything else.

Whenever I take them to lunch, especially if my parents aren't around, all they do is passively aggressively snipe at each other, which eventually turns into yelling at each other in Polish. (I don't actually know Polish, but I'm assuming once it gets to that stage they have stopped being passive aggressive and are just letting it rip.) The minute I drop her friend off, my grandmother just goes off on her, how she pretends to be more sick than she is, how she thinks she's better than everyone else, etc. She rants off how she will purposely not invited her out to lunch, only comes to events at Cafe Europa if it's free tickets for the opera, whatever. I don't know. The same laundry list of things she is constantly complaining about this fried.

So I say, "Well then, why are you still friends with her? You don't actually owe her anything. She's not really family."

"You wouldn't understand," my bubie tells me.

Of course not.

It's 2012, dawg

2012-01-01T14:32:00.001-08:00

Last night Brandon told me that he had a dream that we were dating. I ONLY WISH. Brandon is super handsome and smart. My mother even has a crush on him. He said, "Yeah, it was really weird 'cause it was like, 'I'm gay, but I am super into Arielle!'" Don't play with mah heart, Brandon.

Also, Brandon found out that if you slap Elliot on the ass, he will give you a massage. And Elliot gives really good massages.

Maureen's latest boycrush sent her a text after midnight that said "Happy new ear", which I think is an appropriate way of thinking about 2012.

Goodbye, 2011! Your DJ Earworm Top Hits Mashup was pretty good!

In sickness and in health

2011-12-24T16:57:00.000-08:00

I have strep throat. It hurts a lot. Merry Christmas/Happy Hannukah/Happy Antibiotics!

Bogus spiritualism

2011-12-23T12:53:00.000-08:00

This yoga place in Long Beach has this great promo for new students--$10 for 10 days of unlimited classes--so Laura and I have been going to yoga at 8:30 am (I know, an almost ungodly hour for a college student) almost every day this week. It's nice going to a yoga class where the instructors don't say stupid things like, "If you're going to check out, make sure you do it consciously." I guess that's why the university gym is only $10 per semester.

Also listen to the this song because while it would be the most condescending break-up call ever, it's a good song!

Second to last time I will ever post about finals

2011-12-13T23:31:00.000-08:00

I took an 8 a.m. final today. Ughhhhhh. I have another on Thursday at 8 a.m. The only thing sustaining me right now is the fact that it will be the last history final exam I will ever have to sit!

Although I still have a thesis and probably Spanish exams. Ehhhh.

Also, yesterday I found out that Alma Guillermoprieto is teaching a four-week course on the history of Mexico, El Salvador, and Colombia and the difficulties of reporting there. I am hoping so hard to get into this class. Alma Guillermoprieto is, like, my lady hero. She is amazing. I could be studying with her! Ahhhh!

Indecison 2011

2011-12-11T14:24:00.000-08:00

I called my mom yesterday to get her opinion on whether or not I should go to Mexico City over winter break to do research. I wanted her to tell me no, that I should stay at home because it would be safer and my grandmother would worry less, stuff like that, because I don't really want to go anymore. The whole thing is just too nerve-wracking: I am convinced I won't get the documents or information I'll need and I will have wasted the scholarship money I got and they will make me return it or something equally awful and embarrassing.

But no, instead my mother just tells me, "You know I'd always like to see you more, but it's really up to you."

Oh, the perils of your parents actually trusting your judgement! I just want her to make my difficult decisions for me so I don't have to! Instead, she has done such a good job raising me that she actually thinks that I am a responsible adult and should be allowed to do what I think is best. What the fuck is that? I am 21 years old! I don't know anything! I don't even trust my own judgement! Why do you allow me to make decisions?

Growing up is scary.

An inconvenient illness

2011-12-01T00:07:00.001-08:00

I have two days (technically now one day) to finish a 3,000-word paper (I've written 1,500) and I guess today I decided it would be a good time to get an infection of some sort, complete with the headaches and bodyaches and fever and sore throat. Seriously, this was like Mexico-level infection sort of sick. I was sitting in my last class of the day (which I really wanted to skip but didn't because it was the last lecture of the semester plus it's the one I have to write this paper for so I thought they might mention something useful) and I was burning up even though it was really cold outside, and my eyes were glazing over because instead of talking about anything to do with the course material, other students were asking inane questions about how many pages our final paper had to be (however many pages 3,000 words takes up, dumbfuck) or asking what narrative flow on an ID answer meant or how many pages 800 words was handwritten while my blood pounded away on the inside of my skull and I wanted to die. Then we watched a shallow and uninformative documentary about the Zapatistas which was a complete waste of time.

But no matter. I have take one extra strength Tylenol and two Advil liquid gels. The fever is down; my body feels like it is at a normal temperature. I am going to crank this shit out.

This is actually a probable outcome

2011-11-25T20:58:00.000-08:00

I was talking to my friend Mikko about Kansas City, and he said, "You know how many fat people there are in Kansas City? You're going to get fat!"

Thanks for the encouragement! I probably will get fat though; Kansas City is famous for barbeque.

I'm going to Kansas City

2011-11-21T21:05:00.000-08:00

I accepted my Teach for America offer. It was a bit of an impulse decision, as I made it 10 minutes before I had to leave for class this morning. But according to Stephen Fry, you make better decisions under pressure or when you're hurrying or have to pee or something, because you're snap decisions reveal what your instincts are really telling you to do. Or something. Whatever. I'm moving to Kansas City.

Moral dilemma

2011-11-13T15:51:00.000-08:00

So last Tuesday I found out I got accepted by Teach for America, teaching elementary school in Kansas City. I have no idea if I'm going to accept or not. Honestly the whole thing is a surprise, because I didn't think I would be accepted. I feel as though I should do it, because I like teaching and I know it's an excellent opportunity to actually help students who need it the most, but I'm not sure if I really want to, because it's an insane amount of work and stress, and I've been stressed out for the better part of four years, so do I really want to be stretched even thinner for another two years? At the same time, I feel like I should do it because I feel guilty about my own privilege (going to private schools most of my life), like I'm under some sort of obligation to give back. But I've also been reading criticism of TFA as a program, and I feel like I would feel even worse if I did it for two years and then left, contributing to the instability my would-be students already experience. I also want to live abroad teaching English and travel, but I know I would want (or feel obligated) to stay and continue teaching, so I would probably never end up living outside the US.

Plus, I'm not absolutely convinced that Teach for America is the best solution to the problem of education inequality. I know that while living in poverty and coming from an uneducated or unstable family are highly influential in how well a child does in school, the quality of the teacher is a variable that is very important and effective, plus it's a factor that is much easier to control than every student's background or financial circumstances. I fully understand TFA's mission--that after their two-year commitment, corps members will go on to advocate for and change the educational system through their more prestigious jobs as lawyers or politicians or doctors or financial analysts (I say that last one with more than a hint of sarcasm). But I feel like there's something to be said for trying to find excellent teachers who are permanent, who will be there year after year, so that even though the student might not be in their class, they know they can come to that teacher if they need help in their new classes or if they just want to talk to someone they trust. Even if it's only for seeing the same faces year and year, that is probably enormously comforting if you're living a precariously balanced life where urban violence or financial problems or a whole array of circumstances are making your life outside school as unpredictable as possible.

Plus, what if I don't take this job then can't find another one? What if I go teach English in Korea (a nice, relaxing opportunity full of puppy cafes and a superficial culture that cares too much about head size but will automatically find me beautiful because I'm white) and it's awful? What if I don't even get that job? What if I go off and live in Mexico or Argentina for awhile then decide I'm ready for this emotionally, physically, and intellectually draining commitment and I re-apply but don't get in? Would I be willing to put in the time and money for a traditional Masters and/or credentialing program? Will I even want to teach anymore? Will I feel even more guilty about not at least trying to help close the achievement gap when I had the chance?

This probably sounds like a lot of self-involved, first-world-problems whining, and it is, but I honestly did not expect to make the cut. I was actually sort of hoping I wouldn't so I could avoid having to make this decision, although I don't want to sound pretentious and ungrateful. I am very proud of myself for being accepted and I recognize that I have worked really hard all through college, although this is something that is hard for me to accept because I always view myself as being not as overworked as a I could be (which in my mind translates into, "I am lazy and not that impressive", like I should be some sort of self-sacrificing martyr who has to abuse Ritalin just to stay awake but that is a whole can of worms I shouldn't get into right now). My roommates have told me that the fact that I am deliberating so much is a sign I shouldn't take it, and they're probably right. But I still feel like I have some sort of moral obligation, that I should be working to correct the injustices of the world and I have no right to go and waste my time and potential on enjoying myself.

I have to decide by next Monday, the 21st. If you read all of this you're a fucking boss. I'm sorry if I sound like a dick. All opinions and advice accepted. I'm paralyzed with fear and indecision.

Shake, shake, shake señora

2011-10-29T20:46:00.000-07:00

Work, work, work señora; work it all the time!

No necesito bendiciones por que siempre tengo buena suerte

2011-10-14T00:02:00.000-07:00

I feel like the only relaxing moment I have during the day is when I'm taking a shower.

Wait, no. I also feel relaxed when I work at the East Bay Sanctuary Covenant, this place that helps immigrants petition for political asylum. I worked there last semester, and now that I have a good idea of how everything functions, when I go in I feel like I know what I'm doing. I'm always doing something, but I don't have to think about all the other shit I have to do and I feel good knowing that I'm helping people who need it. And I feel like I can take on whatever petty problems I have in my own life, because seriously, I have it pretty good.

But right now I have a linguistics midterm and a Spanish presentation tomorrow, plus a shit ton of Teach for America paperwork to fill out by tomorrow night, so I am having what is becoming a weekly Thursday night ritual of drinking coffee and freaking out and procrastinating into the wee hours of the morning.

He plays a mean bluegrass

2011-10-02T22:48:00.001-07:00

This weekend was the Hardly Strictly Bluegrass Festival in Golden Gate Park, this free music festival that is mostly folk and bluegrass bands you've never heard of, but also features really good indie musicians! On Friday, Hana and I saw M. Ward and Bright Eyes, and on Saturday, my friend Linda and brought some bread and cheese and wine and saw Broken Social Scene (although we just missed Hugh Laurie, which was disappointing).

It's all part of my resolved to do more fun things this year, because it's my last year here at Berkeley and carpe diem, etc, etc.

Summer's out of reach

2011-09-29T23:34:00.000-07:00

Yesterday it was so hot. I had to walk up a huge hill to an engineering building far, far away for my last class, and I couldn't do it without sitting down several times to take a break to stop sweating. I brought this new wool sweater I bought at Target last Saturday with me to school that morning because I knew I'd be on campus until at least 7 p.m., but when I walked out of the library with my compañeros after working on our Spanish 113 midterm, it turned out I brought it vain. It felt like a perfect summer night: warm air, clear sky, and no tangible humidity. It would've been perfect to lay on the grass and watch the stars or walk up to the Big C and look at the lights of the San Francisco Bay.

But I couldn't, because it's no longer summer, and I have shit to do.

I assumed the weather today would be more of the same. It wasn't. It was much chillier, and there I was on campus until 8 p.m., in a t-shirt and shorts, shivering slightly and trying not to let the cold get to me as I walked home as quickly as possible.

A la chingada

2011-09-12T21:31:00.000-07:00

It's only week 4 (out of 15) of the semester and I'm already overwhelmed with reading. I feel like I do that a lot on this blog: drop off the face of the Internet, only to come back with a post three weeks later about how busy I am.

But it's true. I am busy.

And my downstairs neighbors have started this annoying thing where they play really loud techno music at really odd hours (9 a.m., 1 p.m., 10 p.m.) on weekdays (not even Fridays!) and I find it really infuriating. It makes my floor vibrate. I don't understand how this could possibly be necessary. Are they filming Jersey Shore downstairs and just forgot to tell us?

I feel it in my skin, warming up my mind

2011-08-22T17:28:00.001-07:00

Today Laura and I went down to Point Fermin and walked down the cliff to the beach. The weather was absolutely beautiful and the sky was so blue and it just made me feel so peaceful and at ease with the world. It's nice to know that despite all the shit in the world, there are still things that are unequivocally gorgeous. And also goes a nice way to proving that Los Angeles is not all disgusting smog and cement. To give you an idea, this is what Point Fermin looks like, although these are definitely not my photos.

Yes, this is the house where they had the wedding in (500) Days of Summer.

Although Laura did take this photo of me trying to live up to my namesake*:

Out of the sea, wish I could be, part of your world, etc, etc

*I'm not actually named after Ariel from The Little Mermaid

Not leaving without you

2011-08-11T00:01:00.000-07:00

My second job is ending on Friday. My mother is coming up from LA tomorrow. I went out to dinner with Sexy Ethnic Studies Major Guy and another co-worker and I still have not boned him. I am moping, eating Oreos and listening to Lady Gaga. I am starting to feel that sense of disappointment that comes at the end of another summer without actually getting the boy (any boy?) I like.

Someone write a movie of my life where I actually get what I want.

My life is so hard, first world problems, white whine, etc.

And then who the hell was I?

2011-08-02T22:28:00.000-07:00

One my jobs, the one teaching a workshop for US History, is going to be over this Friday. And my other tutoring job ends the week after. I am so disappointed that summer will soon be over. This is my final "summer", because after this year I will no longer be a student. I still can't believe I'm (almost) a proper adult. When the fuck did that happen?! I'm just gonna go watch Toy Story 3 and bawl uncontrollably.

Speaking of Toy Story 3, today at work my co-workers and I were discussing which part of Toy Story 3 is sadder: when the toys accept their fate in the incinerator, or when Andy finally gives Woody away. Then we started deconstructing the role of fate and God and sex and a bunch of other things in the Toy Story series. This is why I fucking love my co-workers. I'm going to miss them. A bunch of them already graduated, so they'll probably be gone after this job is over. Plus, there's this one co-worker who is incredibly tall and lanky and has this raspy voice and always a bit of scruff and he was an Ethnic Studies major so we always talk about racism and feminism and politics and Mexico and he's just so fucking sexy, but he's one of the ones who has already graduated so I'll probably never see him again. Fuuucckkkkkkkkk.

In other news, this is a gorgeous song, sung by a girl who's, like, fourteen and has an absolutely phenomenal voice.

Something about lonely nights and my lipstick on your face

2011-07-24T12:58:00.001-07:00

Is it bad that I'm starting to really fucking love Lady Gaga? I dance around to this song in my room and pretend to belt it out into my hair brush.

After all is said and done

2011-07-17T13:41:00.000-07:00

I was disappointed with Deathly Hallows Pt. 2. You split the seventh movie in order to do the story justice* and then don't even give the most important parts of the story more than 20 minutes between them? Whatever. I'm sitting in the corner crying anyway.

But I went and saw Midnight in Paris last night and was very pleased with it. It was all beautiful, fun romanticism and people doing the Charleston. Bernadette and I want to go to Paris now. My friend is studying abroad there this fall; maybe I can stow away in his suitcase.

*I know it was for money, but they tried to put this claim forward, so they'd better fucking substantiate that shit

After the boys of summer have gone

2011-07-07T16:01:00.001-07:00

My summer break is over half over. This is seriously depressing to me. This is last summer break I'll ever have.* Plus, the final Harry Potter movie is coming out in a week. It's like the universe is conspiring to push me into adulthood. I mean, more so than college already has.

#whitewhine

*Unless I go to some sort of grad school.

No existen palabras

2011-07-02T13:08:00.000-07:00

I am so obsessed with this song. I really wish I still danced so I could make an awesome ballet/lyrical piece to it.

This is a very nice song

2011-06-29T00:41:00.000-07:00

You should listen to it.

When I leave for the night I ain't coming back

2011-06-27T23:23:00.000-07:00

The six-week bridge program I'm working as my second summer job started today. I'm teaching a workshop for a US history class, and to introduce the students to one of the central ideas of the course and the job of historians, the lecturer presented various portrayals of American women from the 1880s, 1940s, 1950s, 1960s, and finally the present. I was pleased that the students were making interesting and even insightful observations, which means they're probably a) excited about the course and b) did not have their critical thinking stunted by the clusterfuck that is high school history.

But what was most interesting, I thought, were the observations they made about the contemporary portrayal. They made great comments about challenging patriarchal authority and pre-conceived social norms and gender roles of the "ideal woman", but also how this rebellion was still framed in comparison to men and was not considered socially acceptable behavior or even behavior to which they aspired.

The portrayal they were analyzing was* Ke$ha's video for "Tik Tok".

These next six weeks are going to be awesome.

*In case you hadn't figured it out from the title

We're here, we're queer

2011-06-26T22:56:00.000-07:00

Kristy and I went to San Francisco for the Pride Parade today. BART was absolutely packed; it was like the bus I used to take home in high school. By the time we got to Powell, Market was packed with people and we couldn't really see the parade, so we wandered towards Civic Center, looking at booths and costume-watching and passing by stages and eventually finding a nice area with good dance music and a nearby Mexican restaurant with really cheap beer. Even though I dropped my camera and now the screen isn't working, it was still amazingly fun. And really, is there more you need in this world besides queers, beer, and dancing?

Are we going to have to save the school again?

2011-06-18T01:23:00.000-07:00

I saw Harry and the Potters on Thursday night at the this tiny anarchistic library/commune/coffee shop here in Berkeley and it was such a great show, like no show I've ever been to! They could only set up one drum and a xylophone and only one of them was playing guitar so they were a bit limited in the songs they could play but the intimacy and interaction made it so much fun! Here is my really bad video of them singing "Save Ginny Weasley":

I also went to yesterday's show at the San Francisco Public Library. No photos or videos, because I forgot the battery in my camera, but it was also amazing, this time because they could actually run and jump around and had the full keyboard and drums. They have such a great rock star energy. They jump and thrash and jump off stage into the audience and interact with everyone in a way that is just unlike most concerts or even smaller gigs. Even though the music isn't really impressive, they make up for it in ~*magic*~

You can't always get what you want

2011-06-17T09:51:00.000-07:00

So according to Dilbert author and bonafide asshole Scott Adams, men are a bunch of square pegs forced to hammer out a miserable and unhappy existence in a round hold society.* I was going to write a coherent rebuttal, but fuck that. Adams' piece of shit blog post makes absolutely no sense and barely follows its own line of argumentation, so why should I?

The part that interests me is that society is organized in such a way that the natural instincts of men are shameful and criminal while the natural instincts of women are mostly legal and acceptable. In other words, men are born as round pegs in a society full of square holes.

According to Adams, the "natural instincts" of men are to shag anything that moves and tweet pictures of their junk. I personally think that's a bit insulting to men, as I know many guys who seem to be pretty happy with their lives without taking pictures of their penises and sending them to every woman they know. But maybe he's just referring to the idea of having an active sex drive in general. In which case, stop assuming that women don't have sex drives, you asshole. We do. Women also take pictures of their boobs and text them to people. Not that I'm saying that makes it a necessarily good decision, but it happens. Stop acting like men are the only people who want to have sex and that they're somehow oppressed because it's not socially acceptable to stick your dick in someone every time you get a boner.

All I’m saying is that society has evolved to keep males in a state of continuous unfulfilled urges, more commonly known as unhappiness.

Oh yeah, not getting what you want instantly all the time = unhappiness. The reason you can't always get what you want is OH GOD WHY AM I EXPLAINING THIS GROW THE FUCK UP. Even Mick Jagger understands this. Jesus fucking Christ.

Consider Hugh Hefner. He had every benefit of being a single man, and yet he decided he needed to try marriage. Marriage didn’t work out, so he tried the single life again. That didn’t work out, so he planned to get married again, although reportedly the wedding just got called off. For Hef, being single didn’t work, and getting married didn’t work, at least not in the long run. Society didn’t offer him a round hole for his round peg. All it offered were unlimited square holes.

Wait, so if hiring a house full of women to be your harem (I'm not sure if that's actually how it works, but basically he is surrounded by beautiful women all day and I think he has the option to sleep with many of then? I don't know) doesn't count as fulfilling a man's natural instincts (as Scott Adams defines them), and neither does getting married and having one woman that you can constantly have sex with (not that this should be how marriage works, but I'm trying to understand Adams' logic here), then what the fuck? I don't see how this example makes any sort of sense according to the previous argument. What would another option be? If his argument is that society is constricting Hugh Hefner to choose between these two terribly oppressive** lifestyles, isn't his argument invalidated by the fact that Hefner's "single lifestyle" is outside the societal mainstream?

Maybe Adams doesn't get laid ~~enough~~ ever and therefore is completely miserable all the time, but I think it's acceptable to expect men (and women) to keep their sex drives under a certain amount of control, and also expect that mature adults can find happiness in things other than sex.

*Insert penis joke here
**Again, Adams' opinion, not mine

We went to San Francisco yesterday

2011-06-12T21:18:00.000-07:00

Bernadette had to do a photoshoot with her former boss. We had our own side photoshoot going. Also, there was a naked bike ride.

Top marks for not trying

2011-06-04T00:48:00.001-07:00

Just got back from seeing the Arctic Monkeys in Hollywood. They were amazing! Alex Turner is so good at what he does! Ahhhhhhhh!

Say cheese

2011-05-31T12:49:00.001-07:00

Today I went to the dentist for a regular check-up/teeth cleaning, only I haven't been to the dentist in an embarrassingly long time (like, a year and a half? two years?) and I was all ready for her to do that annoying thing where she asks me if I've been flossing while her hands are in my mouth and I am completely incapable of talking just so I could bitch about how the fuck do dentists expect you to respond when there are 394345873 metal thingie-ma-whatsits and hands in your mouth and you can't move your head because then you'll get a nice scrape across the gum with the scary scraper thing.

But then she asked me if I had been flossing before she started examining my teeth, so I had no choice but to meekly say no and hang my head in shame.

I should be writing thank-you notes right now

2011-05-29T21:31:00.001-07:00

I can use the past semester as an excuse for the slow from a stream to a trickle of blog posts, but now that school is over (and has been since May 13), I really have no excuse. I don't know why I haven't really been posting. I used to find interesting stories to tell in even silly and mundane things; somehow I could remember some ridiculous story that should only have been funny if you were there and make it into something I could share with human beings I have never met or even seen.

I don't know why I can't figure out something to write about, because interesting things happen to me and I go out with my friends (I just turned 21 and we can go to bars now which is a bit anti-climatic to be honest but whatever) and I generally have a good time. Like just today, the weather was nice (albeit a bit windy), so I went to the park and threw around a frisbee with my friend from high school. Now, that sounds kind of boring, but I feel like I used to be able to find some aspect that was universally amusing and relate it to broader themes about life or happiness or OH GOD I SOUND LIKE AN ENGLISH MAJOR.

I'm going to shut up now.

We are all this puppy

2011-05-26T14:59:00.000-07:00

What my life has come to

2011-05-09T01:12:00.000-07:00

So you know when you have a deadline fast approaching for something you're dreading doing, and you just keep playing web sudoku and posting random shit on Facebook and blogging to put off the inevitable?

Oh, wait, they already have a word for that? And not-so-clever t-shirts too? Oh, damn. I guess I'm late to the party. Egg on my face!

Entirely unrelated: there is a boy I like, and I keep telling myself I'm going to ask him out next chance I get. SETTING GOALS IN LIFE, Y'ALL.

facepalm

2011-04-26T22:40:00.001-07:00

DSCF3409, originally uploaded by Michael_Berto.

Story of my life.

I wish my armpits weren't so ugly

2011-04-16T10:35:00.000-07:00

Stephen Colbert is such a feminist ♥ And kudos to him for sticking it to Unilever even though Ben & Jerry's is one of his sponsors and named an ice cream flavor after him.

Hammers and nails and puppy dog tails

2011-04-14T22:36:00.000-07:00

Having fairly tolerant and liberal-minded friends and going to school in Berkeley, I forget that I sometimes take things for granted. Like the fact that they world is full of assholes who use a J. Crew catalog featuring a five-year-old boy with pink toe nails as an excuse to write a diatribe on how the breaking down of gender roles is ruining our society.

Obviously, the whole article is bullshit, but there's one particular paragraph I wanted to pick apart:

The fallout is already being seen. Increasingly, girls show none of the reticence they once did to engage in early sexual relationships with boys.

Yeah, god forbid that girls who want to have sex go for it instead of acting like their virginity is the only thing that gives them value as a morally upstanding citizen.

That may be a good thing from the standpoint of gender equality, but it could be a bad thing since there is no longer the same typically “feminine” brake on such behavior.

So it has always been (and should always be) up to women to stop such "behavior"? Does that mean men are completely incapable of controlling their baser desires when necessary? How insulting to men. And people try to argue that feminists hate men.

Girls beat up other girls on YouTube.

But if it were boys beating up other boys, that would be TOTALLY FINE. Because violence is cool so long as it's to prove your masculinity.

Young men primp and preen until their abdomens are washboards and their hair is perfect.

But it's okay if girls primp and preen and have perfect hair, because all women are vapid and shallow.

And while that may seem like no big deal, it will be a very big deal if it turns out that neither gender is very comfortable anymore nurturing children above all else, and neither gender is motivated to rank creating a family above having great sex forever and neither gender is motivated to protect the nation by marching into combat against other men and risking their lives.

This just makes so much sense. Because only women can be nurturing enough raise children and only men have enough cojones to go into battle to defend their country. And if people who don't fulfill traditional gender roles will never, ever want to give up having great sex forever to have a family, then why are conservatives so afraid of gay marriage and adoption? (And why does having a family have to mean no more great sex? I mean, I understand that kids can be a bit of a disruption but still.* Also, I think Ablow just implied that people not conforming to gender roles have great sex. Yeeeeeah boi. Okay, I'll stop that.)

Who cares if a little boy decides his favourite color is hot pink? He has every right to do whatever the fuck he wants if his mom decides to let him. If he is straight, wanting to paint his toe nails won't change that. If he is gay, his mom not letting him paint his toe nails wouldn't change that. Your obedience or disobedience to various gender roles doesn't affect your sexuality, your abilities or your ambitions in life. For instance, here are some of the ways I don't conform to traditional gender roles:

-I am loud
-I am not afraid to interrupt people
-I hate talking about my feelings
-I don't fall in love with every guy I have sex with

Okay, so these are kinda shitty examples. But just because I don't follow these particular gender roles doesn't change my identity: female, cisgender, (mostly) heterosexual, loud, opinionated, ambitious, etc. I still am who I am. And this little kid will still be who he is, with or without hot pink toenails. God fucking forbid we let people be who they want to be, especially since it will literally affect nothing but their own happiness.

*Also, I think Keith Ablow just gave away more about his sex life than he intended.

She really makes me feel like I might be a good person

2011-03-08T16:40:00.000-08:00

[Catherine]
23:18
idk if id mentioned this yet i thnk i have but like you being there fucking saveddd me
i dont know what i wouldve done if you werent in oaxaca with me
so thank you

[You]
23:19
i know man
i think about that too
because at first I was like, wow, this is weird, cash and tara are kinda shitty to go out with
cause they got bfs
and i was like maybe i shouldn't have come
but then that shit went down
and i was so glad i did

[Catherine]
23:19
nahh like
it was so great having youthere

[You]
23:20
because i hated to think what would've happened if i hadn't been there

[Catherine]
23:20
having like a woman stronger than me that was around
fucking helped like crazy

[You]
23:20
oh mujer

[Catherine]
23:20
you have no idea

[You]
23:20
that's like the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me
i'm glad I am of use
and presumably a good friend
i hope

[Catherine]
23:21
pshh trust me
im used to always being like the strong friend but when i wasnt for once
you were there
and i owe you big time girly

[You]
23:22
awwwwww <3
te amo nena

[Catherine]
23:22
yo tambien te amooo

I Want You, But I Don't Need You

2011-03-08T16:28:00.000-08:00

This song pretty much describes how I approach all my relationships.I'm overly independent and afraid of admitting that I need something I can't have.

Someday I will be a emotionally secure human being, I promise myself. Someday.

Viva Libya

2011-02-22T13:39:00.000-08:00

Apparently, Justin Bieber's haircut is trending on Twitter* while Gaddafi is murdering Libyan protesters. WTF Internet! Get your shit together.

*I don't actually understand what half those words mean, because I don't have a twitter but I'll take people's word that this is true.

Conducive study materials

2011-02-16T23:32:00.000-08:00

My playlist for writing tomorrow's Spanish presentation:

"Forgot About Dre", Dr. Dre ft. Eminem
"La Camisa Negra", Juanes
"United State of Pop 2010 (Don't Stop the Pop)", DJ Earworm
"99 Problems", Jay-Z
"The Anthem", Pitbull
"Butterfly", Crazy Town

You know, weighty academic stuff. Helps you focus.

Busy bee

2011-02-11T00:39:00.000-08:00

Just when I think I've had a semester where I out-busied myself and couldn't possibly out-busy myself any more the next semester, I go and raise the bar. This semester I have four classes, tutoring 5 hours a week, a 6 hour/week research apprenticeship, a director position in an organization that fancies itself 'professional', and an Overnight Stay Program that starts in April, which means all the frantic planning is starting now.

Why do I do this to myself?

New Years' Resolutions

2011-01-23T19:16:00.001-08:00

Yesterday, Wendy and I discovered this Korean pool hall in Oakland. It was a bit awkward as we walked in, because not only were we the only white people, but we were also the only women in there. But despite this awkwardness, we persisted, and some of the billards skillz I learned when I was in Italy at 17 started coming back to me.

So Wendy and I have decided that we are going to go there and practice a lot this semester so that we will be surprisingly adequate at pool by the end of the semester. It's good to have goals, you know?

Oh, hai thur

2011-01-19T19:36:00.000-08:00

Whoops, I haven't blogged since Christmas! That would be because I went to Mexico. And now I've started school. I don't even know what to write about. I had such a great winter break that I'm very sad that it has already ended.

All I want for Christmas

2010-12-25T19:48:00.001-08:00

Last night I drove to Hana's new house in Valencia, because we have a tradition of seeing a movie together on Christmas Eve. Only it turns out Valencia is the worst and all the movie theaters close super early so we just drove over to Pyramid Lake for a bit of stargazing. Her eight-year-old brother Michael didn't want me to stay over because "Christmas should just be family".

"Arielle is family. I've known her longer than I've known you," Hana retorted. "Does that mean that you shouldn't be here?"

Michael woke us up at 7:30 this morning, yelling WAKE UP WAKE UP IT'S CHRISTMAS IT'S CHRISTMAS SANTA BROUGHT PRESENTS.

"But he only brought me two presents this year," he added in a more normal tone of voice. "Last year he brought five!"

"Yeah, okay, whatever, Dudley Dursley," Hana and I respond in unison.

Hey there, Mr. Blue, we're so pleased to be with you

2010-12-23T21:33:00.000-08:00

My winter break has been fabulous so far, but I haven't really been able to write about it. Los Angeles had the biggest rainstorm on record, but this morning I awoke to bright winter sunlight streaming through my window and it was the most wonderful thing I could think of right then. And then we played Quidditch.

It's already been looking like Christmas for, like, three weeks

2010-12-17T21:56:00.001-08:00

My roommates love decorating.

IMG_0640, originally uploaded by bernle.

IMG_0661, originally uploaded by bernle.

IMG_0576, originally uploaded by bernle.

IMG_0442, originally uploaded by bernle.

IMG_0427, originally uploaded by bernle.

The final frontier

2010-12-14T15:08:00.000-08:00

I'm done with one final, and I have one tomorrow at 8 a.m. (UGH), and then two more on Friday. I am already so sick of looking at my computer screen that I want to stab myself in the eyes with chopsticks.

I'm at the library studying (this is super weird for me, I always study at home) with my friend Margaux and she is diligently writing shit down on note cards while I just play sudoku puzzles online. I know I should probably do some more studying, but I feel like there's not that much more for me to write. I think I'm just really lazy and she's just really thorough.

Also she just gave me a piece of poundcake. She is the best ♥

Ahhhhhh!

2010-12-13T11:03:00.000-08:00

Secret Macabee

2010-12-07T23:21:00.001-08:00

Secret Macabee, originally uploaded by sappycoldplaywhore.

Kimberly didn't know what the Jewish equivalent of a "Secret Santa" would be.

Thanksgiving

2010-11-28T00:43:00.000-08:00

Three consecutive days of too much food.

On the bright side, I've lost enough weight overall that I fight into all my old pants from high school! (Even though my mouth currently tastes like cholesterol and diabetes.)

I'm tempted to blame this war on Germany too

2010-11-14T23:05:00.000-08:00

The weather today was really lovely, especially for mid-November in the San Francisco Bay. I only know this because I was outside for approximately five minutes, walking to and from the grocery store to buy milk and pita bread and snag all the tasty samples Andronico's puts out on the weekends. Anyway, the reason I spent the rest of the day indoors is because I have this 7-10 page paper on the 'foreseeability' of WWI and it's due Thursday and it's technically all my fault for not starting sooner, but I'm sort of starting to see the appeal in blaming everything on Germany.

Also, I keep talking about war being 'unforeseeable' and it's really making me want to watch In the Loop.

Gray skies and steel nerves

2010-11-07T20:48:00.001-08:00

Steel nerves, originally uploaded by sappycoldplaywhore.

This is what the weather has turned to. Sometimes I lament the cold, but I actually love the way cloudy skies make all colours (even the gray and black of the Bay Bridge) seem more vibrant.

Halloween in Santa Barbara

2010-10-31T14:02:00.000-07:00

Y'all, this place is insane. I'm visiting my friend who lives here so most of last night was spent partying safely in his house, but we walked down to Del Playa, the main drag, at one point and oh my god, that must be what going mad feels like. There were drunk people everywhere, and all my friends who were here last year say that it seemed emptier last night. No wonder this university has its own strain of syphilis.*

Also, I met a cute sailor and we're going to dinner tonight.

*My friend's roommate claims this isn't true. But he goes to Santa Barbara. He is obviously biased.

Annyong!

2010-10-28T00:12:00.000-07:00

So I went to this International Careers Fair today and there was a panel on teaching English abroad and apparently you can make super swank by teaching in South Korea. Like, they have programs that pay for your housing and health insurance and a round trip plane ticket, in addition to giving you a pretty nice salary. So now... I really want to go to Korea. Only for a year or two. To save up enough money to travel all over Asia and Latin America. And maybe some for a grad school program in translation and interpretation?

Oh, plans for the future. I make so many of them.

The cutting edge

2010-10-17T14:20:00.001-07:00

This morning I had a meeting with on my fellow directors for this student alumni association we work for. After we had finished our official business, we started talking about history papers and I told her if she needed help finding sources at the library, I would totally be willing to help a sistah out, because I am a history major and thus very familiar with the library.

"Wow," she said, even though my library investigative skills aren't as impressive as they sound. "You know, I think you would be a good journalist."

I laugh, knowing what she does not about my former career aspirations and dashed dreams and disillusionment and all that. "Nah, being a journalist is too much work," I replied. "Plus, journalism is dying."

"True," she nods. "I think blogging is going to take over."

Oh, precious. How insightful. Welcome to 2004.

Look, I like this girl. I really do. She's great to work with. But that was adorably out of date. We've only got two years until the world ends* and I would've thought by now that everyone under the age of 30 was a bit more with the times. But what do I know? I don't even have a Twitter.

*Because Westerners totally have a complete grasp of and solid belief in Mayan cosmology and astronomy and therefore should trust all of their predictions.

Dear vague muscular man with a beard or a sword

2010-10-15T00:33:00.000-07:00

Bo Burnham is kind of amazing.

Strike a match on all my wasted time

2010-10-11T19:36:00.000-07:00

I'm not gonna lie; I love angry Taylor Swift songs.

Who gives a fuck about an Oxford comma?

2010-10-05T23:13:00.000-07:00

Today in my tutoring seminar, we discussed the aesthetics of Oxford commas. I think lists are more aesthetically pleasing without them. This cute English major thinks thinks the opposite. I'm willing to change my opinion, because he's cute.*

The anecdote and the video are completely unrelated.

*Obviously, kidding. Who would change their opinion just for a guy, even if he is cute?

No hables con ella

2010-10-02T21:56:00.000-07:00

Last night we went swing dancing on Sproul, and I met the most forward Asian guy I have ever met in my life. We were talking about Almodóvar movies, and I said I hadn't seen Talk to Her yet, and he said, "Maybe we could watch it together." Hahaha. I patted him on the shoulder and said, "Yeah, maybe."

Nuestro vino

2010-09-24T00:01:00.000-07:00

"Crear es la palabra de pase de esta generación. El vino, de plátano; y si sale agrio, ¡es nuestro vino!" -José Martí

'Create' is the password of this generation. The wine, made of plantains; even if it turns bitter, it is our wine!

I know these words were written about Cuban nationalism at the end of the 19th century, but I read them and they resonate with me, even though I am not a cubano, much less a revolutionary.

I think every generation has their own struggles and thus, their own solutions. People who look back on the past as an ideal are fooling themselves. All those hippies and student protesters at Berkeley in the 60s and 70s, making speeches about throwing themselves upon the gears of the machine, they great up and became middle managers and investment bankers and live in the suburbs. What do their struggles mean to us anyway? They aren't ours; we have our own. We have our own problems, our own music, our own fashion, nuestro propio vino.

I realized this my freshman year of college, when I thought about Fight Club, and suddenly realized I was over that message, or more accurately, I had never gotten the message to begin with. You can't live your life ruled by someone else's ideas; they are not you. Tyler Durden doesn't speak for me, and he probably doesn't speak for you. I don't want to blow up the banks and start at zero. I like having banks and money. My priorities lie elsewhere.

What's important is not that I disregard everyone else's opinion, but that I recognize that it can be valid without organizing my whole cosmos around it.Create your own ideas, your own message, tu propio vino*.

What will your wine taste like?

*Okay, I'll stop with the vino thing.

Perspective

2010-09-12T23:27:00.001-07:00

Perspective, originally uploaded by sappycoldplaywhore.

I love looking at the ground from a plane. It makes me appreciate everything that's amazing about this world just a little bit more.

So this is how the summer ends

2010-09-06T23:28:00.000-07:00

Not with a bang, but with a fruit salad. Or, I should say a fruit fortress. The peaches are soldiers peaking out over the watermelon battlements. The strawberries and kiwis are women and children. And the baby grapes are babies.

It's not a perfect metaphor.

We had a lovely get-together today and ate way too much delicious food. It was really relaxing and is now only serving as a reminder how very un-relaxing this semester is going to be.

Class Scheduling 101

2010-08-29T12:50:00.001-07:00

So y'all, I have a really embarrassing story about my first day of class, which was on Thursday.

Just some background before I begin: I always make myself a pretty, colored schedule on Excel instead of just using the one on Tele-BEARS, our registration system. So the classrooms I have printed on that schedule are the ones I go to.

I go to my last class of the day: History of Germany from Bismark to WWI. I sit in the room while a bunch of freshmen natter away, excitedly introducing themselves because this whole thing is still novel to them (awwww, adorable!). I just sit there, quietly*, because I kinda don't want to be there, as it's already 3:30 and this class won't end until 5.

Finally, the professor walks in. She sets her stuff down on the podium, and opens a window.

"Welcome to Intro to Feminist Theory."

Oh. Shit.

*Hahahha, quietly. I know, right?

School's out for never

2010-08-27T21:48:00.001-07:00

School has started. I haven't died. Yet.

But looking at my schedule, it's only a matter of time.

Don't panic

2010-08-21T22:33:00.000-07:00

School starts Thursday (Thursday?! What happened to the remaining days of summer?!) and I am totally running around like a chicken with its head cut off right now. I have to pack because for my three days home right now, because I'm going straight to the airport after my all-day, day 2 of my leadership retreat tomorrow. And I'm not flying back until the last flight on Wednesday night, basically cutting it as close as possible to make my life super easy.

But you know what? Laura just texted me, and were going to the beach on Tuesday. How lovely. It's the little things, after all.

Are you sure it's plugged in?

2010-08-16T16:37:00.001-07:00

Keep Calm and Turn It Off and On Again, originally uploaded by adambowie.

I'm really addicted to The IT Crowd right now.

Broomball & the road to Sweden

2010-08-15T00:07:00.000-07:00

So last night/early this morning, I went to play broomball with Mikko, Kimberly, and John Yang. (And I invited Sam fifteen minutes before we had to start for good measure.) I don't think I've ever had so much fun or been so unafraid of falling on my ass, which I only did once, amazingly. The only downside to broomball is that I used to muscle that have been long neglected and now I am SO SORE and a bit tired because I went to bed at 3:30 a.m. and got up around 10.

So sore and tired, in fact, that I fell asleep in the middle of Scatagories at Michelle's Going Away to Sweden party. But! I was still awake for most of it! Wherein we had an excellent time playing Mafia and Pictophone and Charades and walking around the nearby school and eating cupcakes frosted with Swedish flags. I wish I had brought my camera so I could show you pictures of the cupcakes, which were truly works of art. And speaking of works of art, Michelle drew a Dark Mark on my forearm.

Sweet, right? I know you're jealous. It says "Voldemort and Quirrel BFF 4 ever".

Sit back and wave through the daylight

2010-08-12T16:06:00.000-07:00

Coca-Cola are assholes

2010-08-11T20:13:00.000-07:00

The Dark Side of Vitamin Water:

Now here's something you wouldn't expect. Coca-Cola is being sued by a non-profit public interest group, on the grounds that the company's vitaminwater products make unwarranted health claims. No surprise there. But how do you think the company is defending itself?

In a staggering feat of twisted logic, lawyers for Coca-Cola are defending the lawsuit by asserting that "no consumer could reasonably be misled into thinking vitaminwater was a healthy beverage."

You know, I remember back in high school, asking my friend Amelia why she bothered to spend so much extra money on Vitamin Water, when it was clearly just juice, and she seemed to believe that all the extra vitamins somehow counterbalanced that. So maybe I should testify for the plaintiff in this lawsuit? Or maybe Amelia is just dumb.

Potato chips on fire

2010-08-09T20:28:00.000-07:00

Today, I have a story about our downstairs neighbors.

So in case I never mentioned (which I might not have), we moved to a new place. A really nice place, where we have the top two stories of a three story house. But Arielle, you might say, why would you ever want to leave such a tiny apartment that had such a great entertainment value crazy girl upstairs? Well, as it turns out, our new neighbors are shaping up to be about equal!

So last Thursday we were getting ready to go out for Sam's birthday, when they rang our doorbell and asked us if there was smoke coming from our house. Why would there be smoke coming from our house? we asked in return.

Oh, because they smelled and saw smoke in their house, and they were wondering if it was coming FROM UPSTAIRS instead of, I don't know, THEIR HOUSE.

We went to check anyway, even though we were up in the kitchen (which is on the top floor) and the only place we could smell smoke was downstairs, near our door, which is connected to their kitchen. So we suggested maybe the smoke was coming from their kitchen, which it was.

But that's not all.

No, not only did they not realize that smoke was coming from their kitchen, they couldn't figure out that it was coming from a bag of potato chips that they had put in a broiler because they thought it was a cabinet. And even better? They put the chips there because one of their housemates had been eating too many chips, so they were hiding them from her.

Oh lord, they are going to burn our house down.

Shabby Apple Giveaway

2010-08-08T13:35:00.000-07:00

So, as if I needed another website to spend money on, right? But I just found Shabby Apple and homaigawsh, it is amazing. I've spent all morning browsing; I already have twelve things on my wishlist. I have a funny feeling that a good portion of all the money I make this year is going to end up going right into the pockets of whoever owns this website.

Plus, Work It, Berk is having a Shabby Apple Giveaway! So head on over there to enter at your chance to win a free item of your choice. (I choose this dress, in anticipation of being a real, grown-up working professional. Which might not be for awhile, but I can always pretend.)

Marriage is so gay

2010-08-05T14:16:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, a federal judge declared that Prop 8 was unconstitutional.

I would celebrate, only I know better. I know that the backlash will continue, just a reinforcement of the backlash that got Prop 8 on the ballot in the first place.

It's a sad, crazy, hateful world we live in. I wish that weren't true, but it is.

The Savage Detectives

2010-08-04T14:11:00.001-07:00

Page 172, originally uploaded by sappycoldplaywhore.

"When the whole civilized world disappears Mexico will keep existing, when the planet vaporizes or disintegrates, Mexico will still be Mexico."

I'm almost done with this book. It has been really wonderful so far! It's about a fictional literary movement called the visceral realists and its founders Arturo Belano (the author's alter ego) and Ulises Lima (the author's friend's alter ego) and traces their lives through Mexico, Europe, the Middle East, and Africa and their search for the poetess Cesárea Tinajero. It's all quite complicated and verbose and confusing and I've always been rubbish at writing reviews of things that are good, so suffice to say that you should read it if you like interesting books.

Wherein we abuse the Safeway parking lot

2010-08-01T20:46:00.001-07:00

Nothing comes close to the Golden Coast, originally uploaded by sappycoldplaywhore.

Kimberly and I went to Fort Mason for the Renegade Craft Fair, where I spent far too much money. Anyway, we couldn't find any parking inside the Fort, so we parked at the Safeway across the street. But we bought some olives from the olive bar and a bag of chips to assuage our guilt and justify our rule-breaking. But hey, we didn't get towed, so it must have been morally justifiable. I mean, parking is expensive. We are but poor college students. Next time we will take the bus. Lesson learned.

And we made ourselves a delicious dinner! Spaghetti with cherry tomatoes and spinach, with a side of garlic bread.

It might look fancy*, but really all you have to do is cook the pasta, sauté some garlic in olive oil then add the spinach then the tomatoes once the spinach wilts, and pour into the cooked pasta. For the garlic bread, mash some garlic, mix it with butter, spread it on bread then fry for a minute or so in the same sauté pan. Easy, and amazingly delicious. Kimberly and I are going to make ourselves fat, we make such delicious things when we cook together.

*no it doesn't

Berkeley Bowl just blew my brain

2010-07-31T20:47:00.001-07:00

Today I went in to Berkeley Bowl, a local grocery, for the first time. It was amazing. Their produce section is bigger than the supermarket just down the street. Just, every fruit and vegetable and legume and herb imaginable, from every place imaginable, all reasonably cheap. I mean, they even have prickly pears. I can make agua de tuna*, just like I had in Mexico. My mind exploded with possibilities of dishes to cook. I'm pretty sure I was dragging my jaw along the floor as I walked down all the produce aisles, because a clerk asked me if I needed help.

And when I say 'cheap', I am not kidding. I bought everything pictured above, which is a head of lettuce, a basket of cherry tomatoes, three tangerines, a HUGE-ASS avocado, a flat of raspberries, a loaf of bread, and a head of garlic (not pictured), all for $10. Yes. $10.

Sometimes, I talk a lot of shit about Berkeley for being a town full of annoying, liberal yuppies (which it totally is), but sometimes Berkeley is just fucking awesome.

Also, did I mention how HUGE this avocado is? Like, really huge. Like, here it is next to a salt shaker for some comparison.

SO HUGE. I kept raving about it while I was making dinner tonight and Kimberly was like, "OH MY GOD WE GET IT SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR STUPID AVOCADO." Whatever. She doesn't even like avocados; she clearly does not understand how amazing this is.

*The prickly pear fruit is called tuna in Spanish. Tuna fish is atún.

Bernadette!

2010-07-27T21:05:00.001-07:00

Day 2 Outtake, originally uploaded by bernle.

This is one of my roommates, Bernadette. She is actually one of two Bernadettes*. And she is really cute.

*The other lives in the living room, which used to be the attic, so we call her Anne Frank. Also, we are technically hiding her from our landlord.

The woes of my priveleged, white existence

2010-07-22T14:44:00.000-07:00

I am sitting at a strange and uncomfortable desk, at a computer that is not mine (but is, thank god, the fastest computer in the office) and my eyes keep glazing over.

I shouldn't be bored, because I do have various tasks that need doing, but none of them are urgent so I'm having that difficult time I have getting anything done when what I'd rather be doing is watching Mad Men or Dollhouse or It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. I could be finishing pitch letters, or blurbs for the August e-Newsletter, but instead I'm trying to find something, anything to read that doesn't pertain to the work I'm not doing.* I only have to be here until 4 p.m., but the minutes just seem to be dragging, like the laws of physics themselves are slowing down just to torture me.

Don't tell my boss how lazy I am.

*I'm pretty sure that double negative just negated what I wanted that sentence to mean. Whatevs.

Me siento en las nubes cuando tú me besas

2010-07-14T18:45:00.000-07:00

"So does that mean we are Chino y Nacho?" Gracie asks after I posted lyrics from this song as a 'poem' on her wall.

"Um, of course," I reply.

"Can I be Nacho?"

I laugh. "That's good, because I wanted to be Chino."

Weekend excursion

2010-07-13T17:52:00.000-07:00

I went home for the weekend. It was so lovely. Why am I in Berkeley? I want to go back home and stay out with my friends every night until 3 a.m.!

Anyway, some things I did:

Went to an aerial class (it's like pole dancing, but with fabric instead of a pole; that's the best way I can describe it), did a double foot lock and the splits in the air*, and got really sore.
Watched nearly all of charlieissocoollike's videos.
Bonded with people from high school at Mikko's party.
Received an apology for this incident.
Confessed, without hesitation, nearly everything I've ever kept secret to Laura and Katie at Mikko's party. I might've been drunk, but I still think this is emotional development for me.
Invented a drink my friend called a "Limey Bastard" (lime margarita mix, lime juice, and gin).
Started watching Dollhouse. Like I need another excuse for procrastination.

I want to go back already.

*which actually doesn't hurt at all; why did I spend so long being in pain doing the splits on the floor?

Breaking free

2010-07-04T18:07:00.000-07:00

"Some guys are having a barbeque across the street," I say.

"Yeah, you should try and get food off them," Bernadette responds.

"Oh yeah, I'll just go up there and be like, 'Oh hey, I noticed this was a bit of a sausage fest so I thought I would drop by, can I have some food?'"

"Oh," says Bernadette, "they're cooking sausages?"

Ew.

2010-07-02T23:34:00.000-07:00

So I was walking home this afternoon after going to yoga with a friend, and I had stopped for a smoothie, because this yoga class seriously kicked my ass and I needed a nice cold sugar rush for this hot day.

And I realized, here I am, walking down the street with a yoga mat on one arm and a Jamba Juice in the other hand.

Wow, I thought, I must look like a complete yuppie tool.

Fezzes are cool

2010-06-28T13:13:00.000-07:00

I'm in no mood for coherency, so here's some mindless babbling about the Doctor Who season finale.

I WANT THE DOCTOR TO DANCE AT MY WEDDING.

Also, I hope he buys himself a new fez because it would so appropriate on the Orient Express. IN SPACE.

Never take a job you couldn't quit

2010-06-25T17:34:00.000-07:00

I have a manuscript!

This is my summer project: I'm get to do all the publicity and marketing for Turned Round In My Boots. Finding retailers, relevant associations, media contacts, reviews, promotional events. It's all mine to do.

I started reading the book already and it's wonderful. I'm so excited.

Oh, right.

2010-06-22T16:40:00.000-07:00

I'm back, btw.

And I started my internship at this small publishing house here in Berkeley today. It was nice. I have to do mundane office work, but I think we're actually going to do real projects too. Either way, it's something to do, right?

I wish I had a clever pun about Italy

2010-06-08T13:20:00.000-07:00

Florence is really beautiful, but my mother has sort of been driving me up the wall. She can be quite controlling and condescending, which is funny because she would always tell me that I can be very bossy and rude to people. I've never said that it's probably because I learned from the best, and I don't think vacation is the most opportune moment to bring it up.

Anyway, Florence. Really pretty. Very touristy though. I like the quieter parts of towns, especially little parks. And I'm already getting sick of churches, which is bad news as it's only Day 2 and there are 14 days total. But today we did this cooking lesson at someone's house in the countryside and we made pasta by hand and everything was delicious. I want to be in a small town, like I was last time I came to Italy. But I think some of the other towns on our itinerary are quite small, like the towns in Cinque Terre. I'm super excited for that.

Um, I have nothing else to add and I'm really disappointed that I have no cohesive structure to this entry, so, uh..... gelato!

Bitches ain't shit

2010-06-05T00:06:00.000-07:00

So the reason for hanging out with people from high school on Thursday was one John Yang's birthday. John Yang and I had auto shop and journalism together, and I had sort of forgotten that I actually like him as a person. I was not invited to this party per se, but I went with Mikko, and when I got there I was pleasantly surprised at how happy John Yang* was to see me. We kept jokingly getting in each others faces and pretending to be ghetto.

"Oh shit," John Yang says, "I'm Eminem. But Arielle here is Dr. Dre."

That's right, bitches. I would use certain offense racial slurs to show off my street cred, but as much as saying them out loud doesn't phase me, putting it down in writing on the Internet, free to be mis-interpreted, sort of does.

Also, I'm leaving for a two-week vacation to Italy in a few hours so later!

*Yes, it's always John Yang. Never just John.

High school reunions

2010-06-04T16:16:00.000-07:00

"Can I tell you something?" Tri asks. He's rolling pretty hard at this point.

"Um, okay."

"I always thought you were really pretty in high school," he says. Apparently people are really honest when they're on E. I've never done E, and I can't say I spend a lot of time with people who do, but my experiences thus far all seem to point towards that fact.

"Oh. Thanks."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Can I kiss you?"

"Sorry, but no."

Oh, man. Seeing people from high school, right?

Lie with me and just forget the world

2010-05-29T19:43:00.000-07:00

See, this is proper May weather. Why have you been holding out on me, Berkeley?

False advertising

2010-05-24T22:04:00.000-07:00

Bernadette and I were sick of Berkeley, so we took the train to Stanford and spent the weekend at Bernadette's sister's apartment. Bernadette and her sister, Francis, are so adorable together. They're banter warms my heart. (Yes. Shut up.)

Anyway, Stanford, unlike Berkeley, is not in a college town, but rather a bit isolated from the nearby city of Palo Alto, which is basically an insanely rich suburb. So Stanford is a bit boring. Beautiful, but boring. We went to the Stanford mall, at whose Victoria's Secret had Cal gear, which is weird. Bernadette and I bought the shirts pictured above, because they were on sale, even though it is a LIE. In fact, I'm pretty sure none of the people I've ever kissed are Cal fans.

Speaking of people I've kissed who are definitely not Cal fans, I hung out with that guy I made out with last time I was at Stanford. It was really awkward. He still has pictures of his ex-girlfriend in his room. Which is entirely his prerogative. After all, who am I to tell him how to get over his ex? But it doesn't mean I still want to hook up with him. Especially since I went to the bathroom to give him a chance to discreetly hide them should he want to, and he didn't. Also, I kinda look like her. Not that I spent much time observing the photos, but she has blonde hair and what looked like a long-ish nose, much like mine. So basically: awkward.

A salted caramel cupcake from one of those ridiculously over-priced, 'gourmet' cupcake bakeries. But I have to admit, it was delicious. I guess they charge $3.25 for a reason.

The pizza I made at Theta Chi with Ben! It was also delicious, and not expensive at all. What a refreshing change of pace.

Bernadette hiding behind her pillow. I find this so funny. She is so cute.

Singin' in the rain

2010-05-20T15:14:00.000-07:00

This is what I wore on my birthday. I had a group interview at Anthropologie, then I went to dinner at a Salvadorian restaurant (delicious), and swing dancing. Oh, and Kimberly and I found this place called Mission Pie in San Francisco. It's this totally yuppie, organic/vegan pie shop in the middle of the Mission District (which is mostly Hispanic and full of taquerias) which I find hilarious. But they make a mean slice of strawberry rhubarb.

Epitomizing my teenagedom

2010-05-19T00:34:00.000-07:00

I did nothing fun, spontaneous, or immature in my last few hours as a teenager. I guess it's fitting, as that's how I spent most of those years: being really fucking bored.

Ah, what am I saying? It wasn't really that bad, was it? ('It' being the hours before my 20th birthday and my adolescence.)

Plus, Kimberly baked me a pie this afternoon. We were watching Pushing Daisies and got inspired. It was delicious.

So there's that.

Magic powder*

2010-05-15T20:08:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, the fourth graders I teach about nutrition** in Oakland told me that today they were selling lemonade to raise money for their afterschool program, the very one I teach through, and could I please come? Oh, of course, without a doubt.

So Bernadette and I went to Fruitvale, although not after waiting an ungodly amount of time for the bus, which I sure as hell hope was because everyone is graduating/moving out and the traffic on College was awful.

"This better be fucking bomb lemonade."

Okay, so it wasn't 'fucking bomb'. But it didn't bomb. It was very good! I had the strawberry lemonade, which was very, very good! And then we got lunch, and beignets. They were the highlight of today (I wish they were the highlight of every day).

I also bought my dad this awesome watch for Fathers' Day. I don't think my dad's personal taste extends much beyond Hawaiian shirts, but I hope he likes it. If he doesn't, hell, I'll wear it. I think it's fab.

The only thing that would've made today better is if Steve had let me meet his roommate from Newcastle (Newcastle!) last night.

Oh well. You can't have everything, can you?

*not that kind of powder
**hahahahha, I know

YEEEEEEEEAH IT'S A PARTY IN THE USA

2010-05-13T21:37:00.001-07:00

Finals are over! Let us rejoice the only way we know how: with ~~bad~~ awesome pop music!

You know I'm gonna be okay

2010-05-12T23:59:00.000-07:00

I only have one more final tomorrow. Then I will be freeeeeeeeeee.*

I've already started compiling my summer playlist.

*Until August 26th.