Power struggle

Last night, after we had all frolicked in the cold water at the beach around midnight, we were sitting on the boardwalk wall, enjoying the view and trying to regain feeling in our toes. Misty and I mentioned how earlier we had been discussing how we, being employees in the food service industry, have become adept at manipulating people (especially men) to get larger tips. The discussion we had been having was that it was really a matter of control: making people (usually men) think they're in control of the situation (and thus you), when you're really the one with all the power.

"Uh, yeah," Sam scoffs. "Right. Manipulation."

"What? You think we couldn't manipulate you?"

He smiles, almost embarrassed it seems, and shakes his head. "I am the master of manipulation."

Misty and I smile at each other knowingly.

Letters to no one

Dear Bespectacled Guy at the Gym,

I know I'm a very violent shade of red and very sweaty and gross-looking right now, but I think you're cute and wish I had the power of mind control and could make you come over to the ellipticals and strike up a conversation. But I don't. So you have to do it yourself.

I clean up nice. I promise.


Love,
Arielle

For all you bloodsuckers out there

I saw Daybreakers last night, and thank fucking god, a movie that actually has an interesting and fresh plot about vampires instead of just using them metaphors for tween sexual frustration. Not that vampires as metaphors for teenage sexuality can't be interesting (I mean, Buffy, right?) but someone needs to shake this country teen-aged girls and for some inexplicable reason middle-aged housewives out of it's their weird current fetishism with vampires. Even though the dialogue was bad and the movie was so MELODRAMATIC!OMG at times that it bordered on comical, it was still interesting, instead of just two or three bad actors starring and biting their lips and playing with their hair and taking off their shirts at each other.

Before the movie, I went to IHOP with Sam (to go bug Misty, of course, and wait for her to get off work). I forgot how much I freakin' love Sam. I've known him since freshman year of high school, but it's not like we really hung out that much during high school (or that we even hang out much now), but he and I can talk and go on and on like we've been BFF since first grade.


And speaking of vampires, the City of Lawndale planted garlic in the road dividers to keep out the vampires, DUH!



I'm pretty sure the councilman is joking (if not, then he makes me SO PROUD to be Californian), but is just a fucking pro at being deadpan. I really hope this is the case. Because that makes him sort of awesome.

I think I'd be good for you

On Wednesday when I went to Hana's house, she and Kyle (her boyfriend) and I were watching Behind the Music: Brett Michaels and it was HILARIOUS how people were saying these SERIOUS and SINCERE (a.k.a. fake) things about how great a person he is and how Rock of Love is a legitimate attempt to find love. Like, no it's not, we all know it's not. It's reality TV; we all know the name of the game and it's to watch a bunch of dumb hos get drunk and fight and curse and be slutty. No to find true love. So the fact that they were still trying to make people sincerely pretend that this was not the case was really funny. Also, Brett Michaels said, "I didn't want to be a parody of who I was in the 80s." OMG, LOL, BRETT MICHAELS. YOU ARE TOO MUCH.


Also, I love this song. And I related to it far too well.

Politics as usual

I love this little kid with glasses. (He was also in this piece.) He should become a regular correspondent!


And Aasif Mandvi's piece was too good not to post.

Also, Ezra Klein: I think I've found my new boyfriend ♥ (Besides Jesse Eisenberg.) I'll have a grown-up political culture with him any day.

Magic

"What are you guys playing?" someone's mom asks us.

"Quidditch," a couple of people say in unison.

"That sounds like something from Harry Potter," she says.

"That's because it is something from Harry Potter," someone, who's name I think was Andrew, responds.

Yep, we fo' sho' play Quidditch at the park. True nerd status right here.


And today I carried on an entire transaction completely in Spanish! Thanks guy who didn't speak English very well, for coming while Lorena was on break. You made my day!

Class with a capital K

I'm honestly surprised I managed to survive New Year's Eve with my virginity intact and work the following day.

We, again, partied at the schnazzy house Kimberly is house-sitting. We covered the whole classiness range, from swilling wine in crystal glasses to drinking SoCo and Coke out of a Jack in the Box cup. We played Left 4 Dead, than played a drinking game with the new Star Trek movie (every time Kirk someone breaks a rule, which is really often) and drank champagne at midnight.

And then... the real heavy drinking started. And then came the hot tub. Again. But this time! there were no worries about me not wearing pants, because I was prepared and brought a bathing suit!

Anyway, the hot tub is where things got interesting. (Isn't it always?) Mikko made our with Brandon (hot), and then Janelle made out with Katie (surprisingly, as I'm not into girls, hotter). But of course, Mikko is such a slut that his hands kept wandering to places they had no place being. He really is The Group's whore.

We finally went to sleep around 4:30 a.m. And I got up to go to work at 6:30. I wanted to kill myself, but I did watch the sun rise as I drove down the hill to my place of work. But then the suicidal feelings returned about three hours into an eight-hour shift. And it didn't help that practically every other person just had to say, "So, working on New Year's Day, huh?" Yes, thank you. Why don't you just RUB IT IN A LITTLE MORE.

I'm so glad that's done. I slept twelve hours yesterday. I had forgotten what sleep felt like.