How to pick up girls

Yesterday I was sitting outside a coffee shop, eating a croissant and reading a book and minding my own business. Some guy with his friend walks by and says, “Hey! Will you be my new friend?”

“No, not today, sorry,” I respond, then immediately go back to my book.

“Aw, you’re mean,” he says. “I’m gonna go slit my wrists now.”

Fuck you, asshole, who thinks it’s okay to try to make women feel uncomfortable and guilty just because they don’t indulge your bullshit pick-up lines. I know this is fake suicide threat, but fuck you for thinking that’s in any way an appropriate thing to say (loudly) to a stranger just because you didn’t get what you want. I am sick of men thinking they are entitled to my attention simply because they plucked up the courage to speak words to me. I don’t owe you shit. Fuck off.