Friday, December 21, 2012

My descent into alcoholism

I am sitting at the airport, which is a clusterfuck because all flights yesterday were canceled because of the snow. It’s 7:39 a.m. and my breakfast is a plastic cup of yogurt-covered preztels and I am drinking wine out of a coffee cup. My phone is broken so hopefully Misty will actually be able to find me in the clusterfuck that LAX is going to be. Now I gotta chug this wine because boarding is starting. HAPPY HOLIDAYS.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Damn snow day

Today is the last day of the semester, a half-day! The day when all the little munchkins probably would've brought me presents and we were going to play dreidel (even though Hanukah is over, I know)! The day that was going to be crazy and fun and crazy!

But last night it snowed and now there is a snow day which sucks because we still have to make it up at the end of the year as a FULL DAY and today was going to be AWESOME and FUN. So BOOOOOOOOOOO!

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Cry baby

I tell myself I am not going to cry, I am not going to cry, I am not crying, I am not crying as though if I say it enough, it will be true.

I am not crying because my roommates, if they don’t actively dislike me, just ignore me.

I am not crying because someone (I don’t know who) texted one of my roomates “Arielle ruined Christmas” and he thought it was funny or memorable enough to save to his camera roll yet got flustered and acted like it didn’t exist when I accidentally saw it and I have no idea what this means but it can’t be anything I want to hear.

I am not crying because my roommates never invite me to spontaneously-planned dinners or drinks at a bar.

I am not crying because I feel all alone in Kansas City. I am not crying because I feel more depressed than I have ever felt.

I am crying because the season finale of The Hour was TOO EMOTIONAL. I am crying for those poor babies in Connecticut. I am crying for the injustices my own babies have to face. I am crying for all the injustices in the world, and all the things that are worse than feeling lonely or rejected or just plain sad.

As though if I say it enough, it will be true.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Why did I leave San Francisco

"Sometimes you need to step outside and get some air, and remind yourself of who you are and where you want to be."

Apparently this quote is from Gossip Girl?

Monday, December 10, 2012

Go to sleep

It was all unseasonably warm last week, like in the 50s˚F, but now it's in the 10-20˚F and I'm like Stop fucking with me, Midwest. I am a Californian not used to this bullshit. Fuck cold weather. I can't wait to get back to California and lay on the beach in 60˚ sunshine (but not go in the water because that shit is freezing).

I never thought I would be up past 10 p.m. telling myself I needed to go to bed because it's already late. Never. Go to bed, go to bed. You have to get up at 6 a.m. Go to bed. Go to bed.

Saturday, December 8, 2012

I had plans but they just disappeared

I was supposed to go to someone’s (I say someone because saying ‘friend’ doesn’t seem quite right anymore since she hasn’t said a word to me in two months) birthday party tonight, but I couldn’t find a parking spot within a block of her house and it was raining and I didn’t want to walk in the rain and I just decided Maybe I’ll drive to Kansas and so I started driving west and I just kept thinking that if I kept driving west, eventually I would get to California, right?