Saturday, December 24, 2011

In sickness and in health

I have strep throat. It hurts a lot. Merry Christmas/Happy Hannukah/Happy Antibiotics!

Friday, December 23, 2011

Bogus spiritualism

This yoga place in Long Beach has this great promo for new students--$10 for 10 days of unlimited classes--so Laura and I have been going to yoga at 8:30 am (I know, an almost ungodly hour for a college student) almost every day this week. It's nice going to a yoga class where the instructors don't say stupid things like, "If you're going to check out, make sure you do it consciously." I guess that's why the university gym is only $10 per semester.

Also listen to the this song because while it would be the most condescending break-up call ever, it's a good song!

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Second to last time I will ever post about finals

I took an 8 a.m. final today. Ughhhhhh. I have another on Thursday at 8 a.m. The only thing sustaining me right now is the fact that it will be the last history final exam I will ever have to sit!

Although I still have a thesis and probably Spanish exams. Ehhhh.

Also, yesterday I found out that Alma Guillermoprieto is teaching a four-week course on the history of Mexico, El Salvador, and Colombia and the difficulties of reporting there. I am hoping so hard to get into this class. Alma Guillermoprieto is, like, my lady hero. She is amazing. I could be studying with her! Ahhhh!

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Indecison 2011

I called my mom yesterday to get her opinion on whether or not I should go to Mexico City over winter break to do research. I wanted her to tell me no, that I should stay at home because it would be safer and my grandmother would worry less, stuff like that, because I don't really want to go anymore. The whole thing is just too nerve-wracking: I am convinced I won't get the documents or information I'll need and I will have wasted the scholarship money I got and they will make me return it or something equally awful and embarrassing.

But no, instead my mother just tells me, "You know I'd always like to see you more, but it's really up to you."

Oh, the perils of your parents actually trusting your judgement! I just want her to make my difficult decisions for me so I don't have to! Instead, she has done such a good job raising me that she actually thinks that I am a responsible adult and should be allowed to do what I think is best. What the fuck is that? I am 21 years old! I don't know anything! I don't even trust my own judgement! Why do you allow me to make decisions?

Growing up is scary.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

An inconvenient illness

I have two days (technically now one day) to finish a 3,000-word paper (I've written 1,500) and I guess today I decided it would be a good time to get an infection of some sort, complete with the headaches and bodyaches and fever and sore throat. Seriously, this was like Mexico-level infection sort of sick. I was sitting in my last class of the day (which I really wanted to skip but didn't because it was the last lecture of the semester plus it's the one I have to write this paper for so I thought they might mention something useful) and I was burning up even though it was really cold outside, and my eyes were glazing over because instead of talking about anything to do with the course material, other students were asking inane questions about how many pages our final paper had to be (however many pages 3,000 words takes up, dumbfuck) or asking what narrative flow on an ID answer meant or how many pages 800 words was handwritten while my blood pounded away on the inside of my skull and I wanted to die. Then we watched a shallow and uninformative documentary about the Zapatistas which was a complete waste of time.

But no matter. I have take one extra strength Tylenol and two Advil liquid gels. The fever is down; my body feels like it is at a normal temperature. I am going to crank this shit out.

Friday, November 25, 2011

This is actually a probable outcome

I was talking to my friend Mikko about Kansas City, and he said, "You know how many fat people there are in Kansas City? You're going to get fat!"

Thanks for the encouragement! I probably will get fat though; Kansas City is famous for barbeque.

Monday, November 21, 2011

I'm going to Kansas City

I accepted my Teach for America offer. It was a bit of an impulse decision, as I made it 10 minutes before I had to leave for class this morning. But according to Stephen Fry, you make better decisions under pressure or when you're hurrying or have to pee or something, because you're snap decisions reveal what your instincts are really telling you to do. Or something. Whatever. I'm moving to Kansas City.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Moral dilemma

So last Tuesday I found out I got accepted by Teach for America, teaching elementary school in Kansas City. I have no idea if I'm going to accept or not. Honestly the whole thing is a surprise, because I didn't think I would be accepted. I feel as though I should do it, because I like teaching and I know it's an excellent opportunity to actually help students who need it the most, but I'm not sure if I really want to, because it's an insane amount of work and stress, and I've been stressed out for the better part of four years, so do I really want to be stretched even thinner for another two years? At the same time, I feel like I should do it because I feel guilty about my own privilege (going to private schools most of my life), like I'm under some sort of obligation to give back. But I've also been reading criticism of TFA as a program, and I feel like I would feel even worse if I did it for two years and then left, contributing to the instability my would-be students already experience. I also want to live abroad teaching English and travel, but I know I would want (or feel obligated) to stay and continue teaching, so I would probably never end up living outside the US.

Plus, I'm not absolutely convinced that Teach for America is the best solution to the problem of education inequality. I know that while living in poverty and coming from an uneducated or unstable family are highly influential in how well a child does in school, the quality of the teacher is a variable that is very important and effective, plus it's a factor that is much easier to control than every student's background or financial circumstances. I fully understand TFA's mission--that after their two-year commitment, corps members will go on to advocate for and change the educational system through their more prestigious jobs as lawyers or politicians or doctors or financial analysts (I say that last one with more than a hint of sarcasm). But I feel like there's something to be said for trying to find excellent teachers who are permanent, who will be there year after year, so that even though the student might not be in their class, they know they can come to that teacher if they need help in their new classes or if they just want to talk to someone they trust. Even if it's only for seeing the same faces year and year, that is probably enormously comforting if you're living a precariously balanced life where urban violence or financial problems or a whole array of circumstances are making your life outside school as unpredictable as possible.

Plus, what if I don't take this job then can't find another one? What if I go teach English in Korea (a nice, relaxing opportunity full of puppy cafes and a superficial culture that cares too much about head size but will automatically find me beautiful because I'm white) and it's awful? What if I don't even get that job? What if I go off and live in Mexico or Argentina for awhile then decide I'm ready for this emotionally, physically, and intellectually draining commitment and I re-apply but don't get in? Would I be willing to put in the time and money for a traditional Masters and/or credentialing program? Will I even want to teach anymore? Will I feel even more guilty about not at least trying to help close the achievement gap when I had the chance?

This probably sounds like a lot of self-involved, first-world-problems whining, and it is, but I honestly did not expect to make the cut. I was actually sort of hoping I wouldn't so I could avoid having to make this decision, although I don't want to sound pretentious and ungrateful. I am very proud of myself for being accepted and I recognize that I have worked really hard all through college, although this is something that is hard for me to accept because I always view myself as being not as overworked as a I could be (which in my mind translates into, "I am lazy and not that impressive", like I should be some sort of self-sacrificing martyr who has to abuse Ritalin just to stay awake but that is a whole can of worms I shouldn't get into right now). My roommates have told me that the fact that I am deliberating so much is a sign I shouldn't take it, and they're probably right. But I still feel like I have some sort of moral obligation, that I should be working to correct the injustices of the world and I have no right to go and waste my time and potential on enjoying myself.

I have to decide by next Monday, the 21st. If you read all of this you're a fucking boss. I'm sorry if I sound like a dick. All opinions and advice accepted. I'm paralyzed with fear and indecision.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Shake, shake, shake señora

Work, work, work señora; work it all the time!

Friday, October 14, 2011

No necesito bendiciones por que siempre tengo buena suerte

I feel like the only relaxing moment I have during the day is when I'm taking a shower.

Wait, no. I also feel relaxed when I work at the East Bay Sanctuary Covenant, this place that helps immigrants petition for political asylum. I worked there last semester, and now that I have a good idea of how everything functions, when I go in I feel like I know what I'm doing. I'm always doing something, but I don't have to think about all the other shit I have to do and I feel good knowing that I'm helping people who need it. And I feel like I can take on whatever petty problems I have in my own life, because seriously, I have it pretty good.

But right now I have a linguistics midterm and a Spanish presentation tomorrow, plus a shit ton of Teach for America paperwork to fill out by tomorrow night, so I am having what is becoming a weekly Thursday night ritual of drinking coffee and freaking out and procrastinating into the wee hours of the morning.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

He plays a mean bluegrass

This weekend was the Hardly Strictly Bluegrass Festival in Golden Gate Park, this free music festival that is mostly folk and bluegrass bands you've never heard of, but also features really good indie musicians! On Friday, Hana and I saw M. Ward and Bright Eyes, and on Saturday, my friend Linda and brought some bread and cheese and wine and saw Broken Social Scene (although we just missed Hugh Laurie, which was disappointing).

It's all part of my resolved to do more fun things this year, because it's my last year here at Berkeley and carpe diem, etc, etc.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Summer's out of reach

Yesterday it was so hot. I had to walk up a huge hill to an engineering building far, far away for my last class, and I couldn't do it without sitting down several times to take a break to stop sweating. I brought this new wool sweater I bought at Target last Saturday with me to school that morning because I knew I'd be on campus until at least 7 p.m., but when I walked out of the library with my compañeros after working on our Spanish 113 midterm, it turned out I brought it vain. It felt like a perfect summer night: warm air, clear sky, and no tangible humidity. It would've been perfect to lay on the grass and watch the stars or walk up to the Big C and look at the lights of the San Francisco Bay.

But I couldn't, because it's no longer summer, and I have shit to do.

I assumed the weather today would be more of the same. It wasn't. It was much chillier, and there I was on campus until 8 p.m., in a t-shirt and shorts, shivering slightly and trying not to let the cold get to me as I walked home as quickly as possible.

Monday, September 12, 2011

A la chingada

It's only week 4 (out of 15) of the semester and I'm already overwhelmed with reading. I feel like I do that a lot on this blog: drop off the face of the Internet, only to come back with a post three weeks later about how busy I am.

But it's true. I am busy.

And my downstairs neighbors have started this annoying thing where they play really loud techno music at really odd hours (9 a.m., 1 p.m., 10 p.m.) on weekdays (not even Fridays!) and I find it really infuriating. It makes my floor vibrate. I don't understand how this could possibly be necessary. Are they filming Jersey Shore downstairs and just forgot to tell us?

Monday, August 22, 2011

I feel it in my skin, warming up my mind

Today Laura and I went down to Point Fermin and walked down the cliff to the beach. The weather was absolutely beautiful and the sky was so blue and it just made me feel so peaceful and at ease with the world. It's nice to know that despite all the shit in the world, there are still things that are unequivocally gorgeous. And also goes a nice way to proving that Los Angeles is not all disgusting smog and cement. To give you an idea, this is what Point Fermin looks like, although these are definitely not my photos.

Point Fermin HDR 715
Yes, this is the house where they had the wedding in (500) Days of Summer.

Although Laura did take this photo of me trying to live up to my namesake*:

Out of the sea, wish I could be, part of your world, etc, etc

*I'm not actually named after Ariel from The Little Mermaid

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Not leaving without you

My second job is ending on Friday. My mother is coming up from LA tomorrow. I went out to dinner with Sexy Ethnic Studies Major Guy and another co-worker and I still have not boned him. I am moping, eating Oreos and listening to Lady Gaga. I am starting to feel that sense of disappointment that comes at the end of another summer without actually getting the boy (any boy?) I like.

Someone write a movie of my life where I actually get what I want.

My life is so hard, first world problems, white whine, etc.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

And then who the hell was I?

One my jobs, the one teaching a workshop for US History, is going to be over this Friday. And my other tutoring job ends the week after. I am so disappointed that summer will soon be over. This is my final "summer", because after this year I will no longer be a student. I still can't believe I'm (almost) a proper adult. When the fuck did that happen?! I'm just gonna go watch Toy Story 3 and bawl uncontrollably.

Speaking of Toy Story 3, today at work my co-workers and I were discussing which part of Toy Story 3 is sadder: when the toys accept their fate in the incinerator, or when Andy finally gives Woody away. Then we started deconstructing the role of fate and God and sex and a bunch of other things in the Toy Story series. This is why I fucking love my co-workers. I'm going to miss them. A bunch of them already graduated, so they'll probably be gone after this job is over. Plus, there's this one co-worker who is incredibly tall and lanky and has this raspy voice and always a bit of scruff and he was an Ethnic Studies major so we always talk about racism and feminism and politics and Mexico and he's just so fucking sexy, but he's one of the ones who has already graduated so I'll probably never see him again. Fuuucckkkkkkkkk.

In other news, this is a gorgeous song, sung by a girl who's, like, fourteen and has an absolutely phenomenal voice.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Something about lonely nights and my lipstick on your face

Is it bad that I'm starting to really fucking love Lady Gaga? I dance around to this song in my room and pretend to belt it out into my hair brush.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

After all is said and done

I was disappointed with Deathly Hallows Pt. 2. You split the seventh movie in order to do the story justice* and then don't even give the most important parts of the story more than 20 minutes between them? Whatever. I'm sitting in the corner crying anyway.

But I went and saw Midnight in Paris last night and was very pleased with it. It was all beautiful, fun romanticism and people doing the Charleston. Bernadette and I want to go to Paris now. My friend is studying abroad there this fall; maybe I can stow away in his suitcase.

*I know it was for money, but they tried to put this claim forward, so they'd better fucking substantiate that shit

Thursday, July 7, 2011

After the boys of summer have gone

My summer break is over half over. This is seriously depressing to me. This is last summer break I'll ever have.* Plus, the final Harry Potter movie is coming out in a week. It's like the universe is conspiring to push me into adulthood. I mean, more so than college already has.


*Unless I go to some sort of grad school.

Saturday, July 2, 2011

No existen palabras

I am so obsessed with this song. I really wish I still danced so I could make an awesome ballet/lyrical piece to it.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

This is a very nice song

You should listen to it.

Monday, June 27, 2011

When I leave for the night I ain't coming back

The six-week bridge program I'm working as my second summer job started today. I'm teaching a workshop for a US history class, and to introduce the students to one of the central ideas of the course and the job of historians, the lecturer presented various portrayals of American women from the 1880s, 1940s, 1950s, 1960s, and finally the present. I was pleased that the students were making interesting and even insightful observations, which means they're probably a) excited about the course and b) did not have their critical thinking stunted by the clusterfuck that is high school history.

But what was most interesting, I thought, were the observations they made about the contemporary portrayal. They made great comments about challenging patriarchal authority and pre-conceived social norms and gender roles of the "ideal woman", but also how this rebellion was still framed in comparison to men and was not considered socially acceptable behavior or even behavior to which they aspired.

The portrayal they were analyzing was* Ke$ha's video for "Tik Tok".

These next six weeks are going to be awesome.

*In case you hadn't figured it out from the title

Sunday, June 26, 2011

We're here, we're queer

Kristy and I went to San Francisco for the Pride Parade today. BART was absolutely packed; it was like the bus I used to take home in high school. By the time we got to Powell, Market was packed with people and we couldn't really see the parade, so we wandered towards Civic Center, looking at booths and costume-watching and passing by stages and eventually finding a nice area with good dance music and a nearby Mexican restaurant with really cheap beer. Even though I dropped my camera and now the screen isn't working, it was still amazingly fun. And really, is there more you need in this world besides queers, beer, and dancing?

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Are we going to have to save the school again?

I saw Harry and the Potters on Thursday night at the this tiny anarchistic library/commune/coffee shop here in Berkeley and it was such a great show, like no show I've ever been to! They could only set up one drum and a xylophone and only one of them was playing guitar so they were a bit limited in the songs they could play but the intimacy and interaction made it so much fun! Here is my really bad video of them singing "Save Ginny Weasley":

I also went to yesterday's show at the San Francisco Public Library. No photos or videos, because I forgot the battery in my camera, but it was also amazing, this time because they could actually run and jump around and had the full keyboard and drums. They have such a great rock star energy. They jump and thrash and jump off stage into the audience and interact with everyone in a way that is just unlike most concerts or even smaller gigs. Even though the music isn't really impressive, they make up for it in ~*magic*~

Friday, June 17, 2011

You can't always get what you want

So according to Dilbert author and bonafide asshole Scott Adams, men are a bunch of square pegs forced to hammer out a miserable and unhappy existence in a round hold society.* I was going to write a coherent rebuttal, but fuck that. Adams' piece of shit blog post makes absolutely no sense and barely follows its own line of argumentation, so why should I?

The part that interests me is that society is organized in such a way that the natural instincts of men are shameful and criminal while the natural instincts of women are mostly legal and acceptable. In other words, men are born as round pegs in a society full of square holes.

According to Adams, the "natural instincts" of men are to shag anything that moves and tweet pictures of their junk. I personally think that's a bit insulting to men, as I know many guys who seem to be pretty happy with their lives without taking pictures of their penises and sending them to every woman they know. But maybe he's just referring to the idea of having an active sex drive in general. In which case, stop assuming that women don't have sex drives, you asshole. We do. Women also take pictures of their boobs and text them to people. Not that I'm saying that makes it a necessarily good decision, but it happens. Stop acting like men are the only people who want to have sex and that they're somehow oppressed because it's not socially acceptable to stick your dick in someone every time you get a boner.

All I’m saying is that society has evolved to keep males in a state of continuous unfulfilled urges, more commonly known as unhappiness.

Oh yeah, not getting what you want instantly all the time = unhappiness. The reason you can't always get what you want is OH GOD WHY AM I EXPLAINING THIS GROW THE FUCK UP. Even Mick Jagger understands this. Jesus fucking Christ.

Consider Hugh Hefner. He had every benefit of being a single man, and yet he decided he needed to try marriage. Marriage didn’t work out, so he tried the single life again. That didn’t work out, so he planned to get married again, although reportedly the wedding just got called off. For Hef, being single didn’t work, and getting married didn’t work, at least not in the long run. Society didn’t offer him a round hole for his round peg. All it offered were unlimited square holes.

Wait, so if hiring a house full of women to be your harem (I'm not sure if that's actually how it works, but basically he is surrounded by beautiful women all day and I think he has the option to sleep with many of then? I don't know) doesn't count as fulfilling a man's natural instincts (as Scott Adams defines them), and neither does getting married and having one woman that you can constantly have sex with (not that this should be how marriage works, but I'm trying to understand Adams' logic here), then what the fuck? I don't see how this example makes any sort of sense according to the previous argument. What would another option be? If his argument is that society is constricting Hugh Hefner to choose between these two terribly oppressive** lifestyles, isn't his argument invalidated by the fact that Hefner's "single lifestyle" is outside the societal mainstream?

Maybe Adams doesn't get laid enough ever and therefore is completely miserable all the time, but I think it's acceptable to expect men (and women) to keep their sex drives under a certain amount of control, and also expect that mature adults can find happiness in things other than sex.

*Insert penis joke here
**Again, Adams' opinion, not mine

Sunday, June 12, 2011

We went to San Francisco yesterday

Bernadette had to do a photoshoot with her former boss. We had our own side photoshoot going. Also, there was a naked bike ride.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Top marks for not trying

Just got back from seeing the Arctic Monkeys in Hollywood. They were amazing! Alex Turner is so good at what he does! Ahhhhhhhh!

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Say cheese

Today I went to the dentist for a regular check-up/teeth cleaning, only I haven't been to the dentist in an embarrassingly long time (like, a year and a half? two years?) and I was all ready for her to do that annoying thing where she asks me if I've been flossing while her hands are in my mouth and I am completely incapable of talking just so I could bitch about how the fuck do dentists expect you to respond when there are 394345873 metal thingie-ma-whatsits and hands in your mouth and you can't move your head because then you'll get a nice scrape across the gum with the scary scraper thing.

But then she asked me if I had been flossing before she started examining my teeth, so I had no choice but to meekly say no and hang my head in shame.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

I should be writing thank-you notes right now

I can use the past semester as an excuse for the slow from a stream to a trickle of blog posts, but now that school is over (and has been since May 13), I really have no excuse. I don't know why I haven't really been posting. I used to find interesting stories to tell in even silly and mundane things; somehow I could remember some ridiculous story that should only have been funny if you were there and make it into something I could share with human beings I have never met or even seen.

I don't know why I can't figure out something to write about, because interesting things happen to me and I go out with my friends (I just turned 21 and we can go to bars now which is a bit anti-climatic to be honest but whatever) and I generally have a good time. Like just today, the weather was nice (albeit a bit windy), so I went to the park and threw around a frisbee with my friend from high school. Now, that sounds kind of boring, but I feel like I used to be able to find some aspect that was universally amusing and relate it to broader themes about life or happiness or OH GOD I SOUND LIKE AN ENGLISH MAJOR.

I'm going to shut up now.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Monday, May 9, 2011

What my life has come to

So you know when you have a deadline fast approaching for something you're dreading doing, and you just keep playing web sudoku and posting random shit on Facebook and blogging to put off the inevitable?

Oh, wait, they already have a word for that? And not-so-clever t-shirts too? Oh, damn. I guess I'm late to the party. Egg on my face!

Entirely unrelated: there is a boy I like, and I keep telling myself I'm going to ask him out next chance I get. SETTING GOALS IN LIFE, Y'ALL.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011


DSCF3409, originally uploaded by Michael_Berto.

Story of my life.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

I wish my armpits weren't so ugly

Stephen Colbert is such a feminist ♥ And kudos to him for sticking it to Unilever even though Ben & Jerry's is one of his sponsors and named an ice cream flavor after him.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Hammers and nails and puppy dog tails

Having fairly tolerant and liberal-minded friends and going to school in Berkeley, I forget that I sometimes take things for granted. Like the fact that they world is full of assholes who use a J. Crew catalog featuring a five-year-old boy with pink toe nails as an excuse to write a diatribe on how the breaking down of gender roles is ruining our society.

Obviously, the whole article is bullshit, but there's one particular paragraph I wanted to pick apart:

The fallout is already being seen. Increasingly, girls show none of the reticence they once did to engage in early sexual relationships with boys.
Yeah, god forbid that girls who want to have sex go for it instead of acting like their virginity is the only thing that gives them value as a morally upstanding citizen.

That may be a good thing from the standpoint of gender equality, but it could be a bad thing since there is no longer the same typically “feminine” brake on such behavior.
So it has always been (and should always be) up to women to stop such "behavior"? Does that mean men are completely incapable of controlling their baser desires when necessary? How insulting to men. And people try to argue that feminists hate men.

Girls beat up other girls on YouTube.
But if it were boys beating up other boys, that would be TOTALLY FINE. Because violence is cool so long as it's to prove your masculinity.

Young men primp and preen until their abdomens are washboards and their hair is perfect.
But it's okay if girls primp and preen and have perfect hair, because all women are vapid and shallow.

And while that may seem like no big deal, it will be a very big deal if it turns out that neither gender is very comfortable anymore nurturing children above all else, and neither gender is motivated to rank creating a family above having great sex forever and neither gender is motivated to protect the nation by marching into combat against other men and risking their lives.
This just makes so much sense. Because only women can be nurturing enough raise children and only men have enough cojones to go into battle to defend their country. And if people who don't fulfill traditional gender roles will never, ever want to give up having great sex forever to have a family, then why are conservatives so afraid of gay marriage and adoption? (And why does having a family have to mean no more great sex? I mean, I understand that kids can be a bit of a disruption but still.* Also, I think Ablow just implied that people not conforming to gender roles have great sex. Yeeeeeah boi. Okay, I'll stop that.)

Who cares if a little boy decides his favourite color is hot pink? He has every right to do whatever the fuck he wants if his mom decides to let him. If he is straight, wanting to paint his toe nails won't change that. If he is gay, his mom not letting him paint his toe nails wouldn't change that. Your obedience or disobedience to various gender roles doesn't affect your sexuality, your abilities or your ambitions in life. For instance, here are some of the ways I don't conform to traditional gender roles:

-I am loud
-I am not afraid to interrupt people
-I hate talking about my feelings
-I don't fall in love with every guy I have sex with

Okay, so these are kinda shitty examples. But just because I don't follow these particular gender roles doesn't change my identity: female, cisgender, (mostly) heterosexual, loud, opinionated, ambitious, etc. I still am who I am. And this little kid will still be who he is, with or without hot pink toenails. God fucking forbid we let people be who they want to be, especially since it will literally affect nothing but their own happiness.

*Also, I think Keith Ablow just gave away more about his sex life than he intended.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

She really makes me feel like I might be a good person

idk if id mentioned this yet i thnk i have but like you being there fucking saveddd me
i dont know what i wouldve done if you werent in oaxaca with me
so thank you

i know man
i think about that too
because at first I was like, wow, this is weird, cash and tara are kinda shitty to go out with
cause they got bfs
and i was like maybe i shouldn't have come
but then that shit went down
and i was so glad i did

nahh like
it was so great having youthere

because i hated to think what would've happened if i hadn't been there

having like a woman stronger than me that was around
fucking helped like crazy

oh mujer

you have no idea

that's like the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me
i'm glad I am of use
and presumably a good friend
i hope

pshh trust me
im used to always being like the strong friend but when i wasnt for once
you were there
and i owe you big time girly

awwwwww <3
te amo nena

yo tambien te amooo

I Want You, But I Don't Need You

This song pretty much describes how I approach all my relationships.I'm overly independent and afraid of admitting that I need something I can't have.

Someday I will be a emotionally secure human being, I promise myself. Someday.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Viva Libya

Apparently, Justin Bieber's haircut is trending on Twitter* while Gaddafi is murdering Libyan protesters. WTF Internet! Get your shit together.

*I don't actually understand what half those words mean, because I don't have a twitter but I'll take people's word that this is true.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Conducive study materials

My playlist for writing tomorrow's Spanish presentation:

"Forgot About Dre", Dr. Dre ft. Eminem
"La Camisa Negra", Juanes
"United State of Pop 2010 (Don't Stop the Pop)", DJ Earworm
"99 Problems", Jay-Z
"The Anthem", Pitbull
"Butterfly", Crazy Town

You know, weighty academic stuff. Helps you focus.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Busy bee

Just when I think I've had a semester where I out-busied myself and couldn't possibly out-busy myself any more the next semester, I go and raise the bar. This semester I have four classes, tutoring 5 hours a week, a 6 hour/week research apprenticeship, a director position in an organization that fancies itself 'professional', and an Overnight Stay Program that starts in April, which means all the frantic planning is starting now.

Why do I do this to myself?

Sunday, January 23, 2011

New Years' Resolutions

Yesterday, Wendy and I discovered this Korean pool hall in Oakland. It was a bit awkward as we walked in, because not only were we the only white people, but we were also the only women in there. But despite this awkwardness, we persisted, and some of the billards skillz I learned when I was in Italy at 17 started coming back to me.

So Wendy and I have decided that we are going to go there and practice a lot this semester so that we will be surprisingly adequate at pool by the end of the semester. It's good to have goals, you know?

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Oh, hai thur

Whoops, I haven't blogged since Christmas! That would be because I went to Mexico. And now I've started school. I don't even know what to write about. I had such a great winter break that I'm very sad that it has already ended.