I called my mom yesterday to get her opinion on whether or not I should go to Mexico City over winter break to do research. I wanted her to tell me no, that I should stay at home because it would be safer and my grandmother would worry less, stuff like that, because I don't really want to go anymore. The whole thing is just too nerve-wracking: I am convinced I won't get the documents or information I'll need and I will have wasted the scholarship money I got and they will make me return it or something equally awful and embarrassing.
But no, instead my mother just tells me, "You know I'd always like to see you more, but it's really up to you."
Oh, the perils of your parents actually trusting your judgement! I just want her to make my difficult decisions for me so I don't have to! Instead, she has done such a good job raising me that she actually thinks that I am a responsible adult and should be allowed to do what I think is best. What the fuck is that? I am 21 years old! I don't know anything! I don't even trust my own judgement! Why do you allow me to make decisions?
Growing up is scary.